Coaching with my fridge

Sometimes during a coaching session it happens to have a insight that comes from a weird place  and works well for a client. Then you may be tempted to use it again with other clients. In this video I tell the story of one of these and explain why it is not necessarily a good idea.

The original blog post was published here

 

The #4 misleading sentence about emotions

Here in this video is the missing explanation (plus my thanks to all the people who gave advice and comments) to the video I posted two weeks ago about my to 11 misleading sentences about emotions, where I skipped the #4 reason: “You make me feel….”.

Ask for help – the secret of excellence

Last week I published my first video in English, and asked the English speaking people in my contacts to give me a feedback about it. I was worried and embarassed because English is not my first language and because it was my first try.

I got a lot of comments, suggestions, encouragements and appreciations and it was awesome! 🙂 People took the time to watch the video and wrote about how to perfect it and what they liked.

It feels good to be helped by others just for having asked it!

So I thought that it was appropriate to choose as the second video one about the topic: “asking for help”.

Meanwhile, I will record the “#4 bad assumption about emotions” that was missing from the video.

THANKS EVERYBODY!

My top 11 of emotional mistakes we all make

In a video, just my 2 cents about common errors about what when we deal ineffectively with emotions…

The Benefits Of Alzaia Coaching.

1. You Receive Encouragement from the Life Coach

Some people need an extra push in order to get things moving; when you consider hiring a life coach, you are more likely to receive the encouragement that you need to start. You may believe that your family and friends come up short in the encouragement department; a life coach can fill in the gaps. At the hands of a professional and kind life coach, you will feel that you can achieve just about anything.

2. You Overcome Low Self-Esteem and Anxiety

When you choose to utilize alzaia coaching, low self-esteem may disappear. Have you ever felt that you have no purpose or place in the world? A life coach can help you move away from feeling miserable. You can take particular steps to ensure that you understand what you can do if you genuinely try. If you suffer from anxiety, the life coach can also help you in this department. You will have a new friend; a friend that wishes to get you in the right direction. You will have fresh outlooks and methods for changing the future.

3. You Learn To Save Money and Achieve Goals

When you invest in alzaia coaching, achieving goals is easy. A number of people struggle to keep their finances in admirable order; a coach can help you write out a plan and stick to it as closely as possible. If you want to get a raise at work or lose a few pounds, the life coach can also help you. No matter what it is that you want to do, you can come up with a suitable plan. You do not have to feel alone; you can save money and make various changes with the right motivation.

4. You Discover Something New

Do you want to discover something new? If you hire a life coach, you may come across an ability that was previously unknown. You may have a way with words; if this is not the case, you may have the potential to be a professional artist. A suitable life couch may encourage you to try something entirely different. When you try something outside of your comfort zone, you expand your list of possibilities and abilities. A friend or family member may learn something from your new talent. No matter how old you are, it is not too late to make a change.

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Connecting the dots

In a famous speech at Stanford University, on June 12th,  2005, Steve Jobs said: “Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it, no big deal, just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots”.

At the time Steve Jobs was approaching his fifties, and in that speech he was looking back to his life from the viewpoint of a successful entrepreneur, also gone through many setbacks, continue

What’s in an arrow that flies

R.H. Stoddard

Last week a client asked me why I chosed the slogan “Life’s an arrow’s flight” for my coaching practice, so I thought that maybe the explanation is worth sharing.

“Life’s an arrow’s flight” is a verse from a lyric by the American poet Richard Henry Stoddard. Before my client’s question, I knew anything about him (and actually I wrongly attributed the verse to Robert Burns). It is a verse that has been staying with me for nearly thirthy years since I memorized the lyric it belongs to as part of a homework assignment in high school. For thirthy years it stayed in my memory, I never wrote or recited it again, just kept recalling it, as it happens with old memories that just stuck. I forgot the whole poem and the author.

Then, when I turned forty, the verse assumed a new force, because it is about life, and life goes by.

When I started to work as a counselor it became even strongly present. So I used it as a blog title and then as a slogan for my coaching practice. M job is working on lives (mine and other’s) and I love the idea of direction (having or looking for it) in life plus the idea of flight which in turn gives me the sense of lightness, movement and freedom.

Finally I found also in this metaphor of life a sense of speed which is like a warning: life goes by fast, don’t resist it, continue to change and live fully.

When my client asked, I started researching the lyric and the author, discovering that this single lyric of his is quite widespread on the Internet (actually it seems the only one). I wondered when and where it had been published for the first time, so I looked in Stoddard complete works (The poems of Richard Henry Stoddard, 2009 reprint found on Amazon and also online ) but I have not been able to find it. However I discovered that the poem was published on various local newspapers at the end of the 19th century in those miscellaneous pages where readers could find small stories, curiosity, local news and poetry. So for example, I found it on page 4 of the Kansas City journal on Saturday March 5, 1898 or in a New-York Tribune account of a a musical performance on January 5th, 1909. So it seems that the poem has been popular for more than a century.

Here it is the full version:

The Flight Of The Arrow

The life of man
Is an arrow’s flight,
Out of darkness
Into light,
And out of light
Into darkness again;
Perhaps to pleasure,
Perhaps to pain!
There must be Something,
Above, or below;
Somewhere unseen
A mighty Bow,
A Hand that tires not,
A sleepless Eye
That sees the arrows
Fly, and fly;
One who knows
Why we live—and die.

R.H. Stoddard

In a future post I plan to elaborate on the full text, which offers many other suggestions.

On the theme of the arrow, another client told me: “You took the slogan from Paolo Coelho, right? It applies to coaching perfectly”. I was surprised, because I know Coelho books, but I did not recall one about flying arrows and life.

Then I found this on Paolo Coehlo blog:

“The arrow”

The arrow is your intention. It is what joins the strength of the bow to the center of the target.

Our intentions have to be crystal-clear, straight and well balanced.

Once it leaves, it will not return, so it is better to interrupt a process – because the movements that led up to it were not precise and correct – than to act in any way just because the bow was already taut and the target already waiting.

But never fail to show your intention if the only thing that paralyzes you is the fear of making a mistake. If you perform the right movements, open your hand and release the string, take the necessary steps and face your challenges. Even if you do not hit the target, you will know how to correct your aim the next time.

If you do not take risks, you will never know the changes that needed to be made.”

P. Coelho

And I agree, it’s a perfect definition of the process, the features and outcomes of coaching.

So my coaching practice slogan comes from a bit of a old memory, partly wrong, of something (a “meme“?) who has been around for a century and the same slogan recall a beautiful writing of a contemporary writer, and it includes my personal feeling about the life that flows. Also, it seems I learn a lot from my clients about myself :-).

That’s how life (and I) works!

The same goes on for my practice name “Alzaia”: I’ll cover it in the next post.