Escape top emotional intelligence traps and hack team culture


What happens to emotional IQ in a team? Answer is in the way we use language and body to create our experience and culture.

In this session I discuss the way we use our language and our bodies when we want to achieve something. I will propose that anything we want achieve,as an individual or as a team, is always achieved in a relational space and that the precondition for any kind of achievement stays in consciously working inside the relationship and needs a basic ingredient: integrity. Integrity is easily defined but difficultly gained and kept, mainly because of the eleven misconceptions we will address in the session.

We will learn how to connect emotional intelligence theory with clean linguistic and cognitive practices. We’ll experiment simple techniques to leverage emotions in any goal-oriented setting, be it their work, their teamwork or their relationships. Also we’ll learn to convert common misconceptions about emotions in powerful, mindset changing behaviors.

Escape top emotional intelligence traps and create freedom in teams

What happens to emotional IQ in a daily practice to pursue freedom? Answer is in the way we use language and body.

In the session attendees will learn how to connect emotional intelligence theory with clean linguistic and cognitive practices. They will experiment simple techniques to leverage emotions in any goal-oriented setting, be it their work, their teamwork or their relationships. They will learn also to convert very common misconceptions about emotions in powerful, mindset changing and practical behaviors. The tools that we’ll use in the session are language and body. We will learn that language can be effective or not in emotional intelligence, depending on how we use it (and we’ll see the four main uses of language) and also that speech and body are not alternative means of getting things done and goals achieved.

Will 2013 welcome you all!

I wish you a great new year with this words by Jim McCarthy:

I Say Welcome

I say welcome over and over to every and all who show me themselves in a way I can understand because their kindness in doing so is lovely. I want more of it, and them, in my world. They are welcome.

I say welcome because for hundreds of years we have been unwelcome in hundreds of ways. Our feelings especially have been taboo, our deepest selves prohibited.

I say welcome because when someone shows they can feel and think at the same time by stating a feeling instead of acting without coherence on it, I am happy that i am safer with this person’s feelings.

I say welcome to maturity in everyday living.

I say welcome: welcome to all of us, even to our feelings and emotional discomfort. Offering welcome to ourselves a million times in a million voices may be just enough to break the spell of having been hushed in countless ways all of our lives. The age-old banishment of the human spirit from our discourse may well be ended with our inviting and welcoming.

My arrival in externality does not happen all at once. Every day i become more convinced by the welcoming of my many welcoming friends that a place for me actually exists in their hearts. I grow to believe just a little more that in that place I will be valued as I actually am within myself, that I am welcome among a group of external us.

The world wide we.

This welcoming world is built of acceptance and encouragement based on mutual comprehension of just a few primitive feelings, and the belief that we all want more virtue, more help, better ideas, and greater results. This world does not unnecessarily demand my silence, nor does it prohibit my cogence and sensation.

I hear welcome. My sorrow, my joy, my anger and my constant fear have been welcomed. I, in fact, am welcome, so I step a little further into my state of visible being.. This new bit of me is welcomed anew as it should be, so a new and a newly seen me moves on.

I glisten with newness.

I throb with acceptance.

I hear welcome, even if at times I fear it is pro forma. I hear welcome to more and more of me, as long as I offer myself in ways comprehensible to you. I hear that I belong in this world. So I keep moving to fulfill my fundamental commitment to be, to create and disclose myself in effective and comprehensive ways.

I hear welcome.

And I say welcome to signal that I accept what you have told me about you.

I say welcome alone, without adornment. Just “Welcome.” I don’t trust the part of me that wants to talk you out being who you are. I want to tell you why you shouldn’t be in any discomfort whatsoever. I want you to stop being sad or mad. I want your fears to stop. I want this cessation of you because I cannot accept that I am feeling these feelings too. Even though they have been supposedly prohibited in me. I say welcome to tell myself to feel, to invite and to love.

I say welcome and welcome again to these our tentatively emergent feelings, because they alone bring infinite supply to a life otherwise mired in shortages.

Welcome is my raised fist. I say welcome as a weapon. I say welcome to nullify the isolation within that leads to the suffering world without. I say welcome to end poverty and war, to make beauty and to topple injustice and repression.

Welcome is my act of rebellion. Welcome is our revolution. Welcome is war.

War against all that I have done and habitually do to repress myself. And you. Then, now and forever.


Jim McCarthy

The core of education

How to coach like a viking

This is the best coaching session ever. It is just one minute long, but it’s perfect. The fact that it is inside a cartoon is just a detail… In this video I try to explain why I consider it a coaching masterpiece.

The original blog post is here

Coaching with my fridge

Sometimes during a coaching session it happens to have a insight that comes from a weird place  and works well for a client. Then you may be tempted to use it again with other clients. In this video I tell the story of one of these and explain why it is not necessarily a good idea.

The original blog post was published here


Conflict and acknowledgement

Have you ever noticed that when we have a conflict, we tend to stay in it? It would seem “rational” to move away or change or even end the relationship (conflict can be painful), but, most of the time we keep insisting on the conflict issue. We usually say that we are negotiating something, but in my experience this is rarely the case. In this video, I try to explain why.